The Sharpener’s totally unofficial World Cup competition
What the heck, all the proper meeja are running one, so here’s The Sharpener’s prizetastic World Cup competition. We’d like to offer the winner two tickets here on 9th July. Sadly, the advertising revenue won’t even stretch to two tickets here, so you’ll have to make do with a voucher for the online retailer of your choice, courtesy of the site’s meagre coffers.
We’ll chuck in a Googlemail account if you don’t have one already, and a chance to guest post here on a subject of your choice, so long as you answer the tie-break question: Posting at The Sharpener is a prize not a punishment because…
Anyway, the rules. Very simple: just accumulate as many points as you can by making the following predictable predictions:
1) Saying sooth
Name the eight group winners (list and draw here) – 2 pts each
Name the eight quarter-finalists – 2 pts each
Name the four semi-finalists – 2 pts each
Name the winner – 3 pts
2) Nul points
Name as many teams as you like to get zero points from their group games – 3 pts each correct, lose 1 pt for every point your teams collect
3) Marksmen
Pick three goalscorers – 1 pt for every goal throughout the tournament
4) Bottlers
Pick two players sure to miss a penalty – 4 pts each
5) Walkers
Pick two players sure to be sent off – 4 pts each
6) Insta(nt)pundit
… in the event of a draw, the winner will be whoever can provide the best one-sentence piece of punditry on England’s chances. My decision is final, obviously. And I’m a Scot, a bitter one.
Stick your answers in the comments. Regular and casual readers, and regular and casual contributors, are all welcome. The deadline is kickoff on Friday (I’ll be checking those timestamps…), and to help you along, here’s my entry.
1)
Germany, England, Holland, Portugal, Italy, Brazil, Switzerland, Spain
Sweden, England, Holland, Argentina, Italy, Brazil, Spain, Ukraine
Holland, England, Spain, Brazil
Brazil
2) Trinidad/Tobago, Saudi Arabia, Angola
3) Luca Toni, Adriano, Andriy Shevchenko
4) Ruud van Nistelrooy, Frank Lampard
5) Fabio Cannavaro, Rafael Marquez
6) England will be eliminated by the first good team they meet; sadly, that may not be until the semi-final…
Gah… Football… I though we were meant to be internet geeks with no knowledge of sport (or life)?
Pingback: Chicken Yoghurt » Start your frenzies
I expect to be massively wrong here, but…
1)Germany, England, Holland, Portugal, Czech Republic, Brazil, France, Ukraine.
QF: Germany, Holland, Czech Republic, France, England, Portugal, Brazil, Ukraine.
SF: Germany, Czech Republic, Portugal, Brazil
Winners: Brazil
2) Saudi Arabia, Trindad and Tobago
3) Adriano, Shevchenko, Podolski
4) Raul, Totti
5) Jamba, Lucas Neill
6) England shouldn’t have much problem negotiating the group stages, but their limitations will be exposed into the knockout rounds and they’ll find themselves wishing Ryan Giggs was eligible to play for England.
I am off to geek the form, who actually qualified etc, get my slide rule and return.
PS: being a geek, explain your own entry 1. You cnp’ed twice methinks! I don’t understand.
explain your own entry 1. You cnp’ed twice methinks
eh? is that esperanto or something? Please explain and I’ll happily answer…
OK, here’s mine:
1) Groups: Germany, England, Netherlands, Mexico, Czech Republic, Brazil, France, Ukraine
QF: Germany, Holland, Czech Republic, France, England, Mexico, Italy, Ukraine
SF: Holland, Czech Republic, England, Ukraine
Winners: Czech Republic
2) Togo, Saudi Arabia
3) Thierry Henry, Andrei Shevchenko, Jan Koller
4) Ruud van Nistelrooy, Luis Figo
5) Mark Viduka, Didier Drogba
6) England will be proof of just what a bonus a good draw can be.
Oh, and for anyone confused about who can play who in the knockout stages, BBC Sport’s World Cup Predictor is quite useful.
Here’s mine, stunningly naive…
1. Poland, Sweden, Argentina, Portugal, Italy, Brazil, France, Spain.
QF: England, Sweden, Argentina, Portugal, Italy, Brazil, France, Spain.
SF: England, Italy, Portugal, Brazil
Winners: England
2. Trinidad & Tobago, Ivory Coast, Angola, Togo, Saudi Arabia
3. Peter Crouch, Ronaldo, Henrik Larsson
4. Frank Lampard, Craig Moore
5. Cristiano Ronaldo, Rio Ferdinand
6. See? Sven was right. They didn’t need to practice penalties after all.
Can gurls play?
If so:
1a England, Argentina, Portugal, Czech Republic, Brazil, France, Spain
b Germany, England, Argentina, Netherlands, Czech Republic, Brazil, France, Spain
c Germany, Argentina, Brazil, France
d Brazil
2 Togo, Trinidad and Tobago
3 Thierry Henry, Ronaldinho, Adriano
4. Frank Lampard (who else?), David Beckham
5 Robin van Persie, Cristiano Ronaldo
6. England? Are they in this tournament? Can’t say I’d noticed (in Edinburgh)
Another entry from another bitter Scot:
1) Group: Germany, England, Netherlands, Portugal, Czech Rep, Brazil, France, Spain
QF: Germany, Netherlands, England, Argentina, Czech Rep, France, Brazil, S. Korea
SF: Germany, Czech Rep, Argentina, Brazil
Winner: Germany
2) Trinidad/Tobago, Angola, Australia, Togo, Saudi Arabia
3) Thierry Henry, Luca Toni, Jan Koller
4) Frank Lampard, Dado Prso
5) Ruud van Nistelrooy, Zlatan Ibrahimovic
6) Argentina. Again. (OK, that’s two sentences but they are quite short.)
What is this football thing? Can you let me know when you run a competition for something I know/care about? I, alongside most of my (journal) readers (and Simstim), think the whole thing is a pointless waste of time…
Pingback: Chicken Yoghurt » Ask Tony and win
Originally had Holland as winners but relegated them because of their injuries. Brazil never win in europe, ah, apart from that one time.
1)Germany, England, Argentina, Portugal, Czech Rep., Brazil, France, Spain.
QF: Germany, Argentina, Czech Rep., Ukraine, England, Holland, Brazil, Spain
SF: Argentina, Czech Rep., Holland, Brazil
Winner: Argentina
2)Togo, Saudi Arabia, Ecaudor, Trinidad and Tobago
3)Crouch, Riquelme, Ronaldinho
4)Ballack, Raul
5)Puyol, Vieira
6)IF Rooney plays in the knockout stages, England will only get to the Quarters at best, at the mere sight of a dogdy tackle, the fat scouse will be hobbling off; and even if he isn’t reinjured, a half-fit, out of form Rooney will be worse than the fully fit, in-form Rooney who scored none in the quailifying against teams of the calibre of , errr, Northern Ireland and Azerbaijan. (I say pick Crouch or Defoe and ditch Walcott)
1) Germany, England, The Netherlands, Portugal, Italy, Brazil, France, Spain
Germany, The Netherlands, England, Argentina, Italy, France, Brazil, Spain
The Netherlands, Italy, England, Brazil
Brazil
2) Trinidad & Tobago, Ghana
3) Adriano, Toni, van Nistelrooy
4) Figo, Klose
5) Vidic, Masamessou
6) (in honour of Henry Blofeld)
My dear old things, England’s will be a splendidly heroic effort, but all for nothing, as the cruel whims of fate and fortune will see that our boys’ dreams will be scattered over the fields of Gelsenkirken like a shattered mirror that’s been kicked by a ferocious Argentine mule.
1) Germany, Sweden, Argentina, Mexico, Italy, Brazil, France, Ukraine
QF: Germany, Argentina, Sweden, Mexico, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Ukraine
SF: Argentina, Italy, Mexico, Brazil
Winner: Brazil
3) Crouch, Ronaldinho, Luca Toni
4) Frank Lampard, Luis Figo
5) Ruud van Nistelrooy, Rio Ferdinand
6) Blame Sweden!
NB My answers to qq 3-5 may bear a slight similarity to other people’s. This is entirely coincidental and does not in any way reflect a total lack of knowledge on my part with regard to this one. (Crouch, he’s the funny tall one. Ronaldinho, he’s the one who’s not Ronaldo. Ask me anything.) In any case, I’ve made up for this with the originality of my prediction for group B.
1 a). Germany, Sweden, Argentina, Portugal, Czech Republic, Brazil, France, Ukraine.
1 b). England, Argentina, Czech Republic, France, Sweden, Holland, Brazil, Ukraine.
1 c). England, Czech Republic, Sweden, Brazil.
1 d). Brazil.
2). Ecuador, Trinidad and Tobago, Australia, Togo, Iran, Angola, Tunisia, Saudi Arabia.
3). Henrik Larsson, Milan Baros, Adriano.
4). David Beckham, Francesco Totti.
5). Rafael Marquez, Jamba.
6). Too prone to giving the ball away to win the World Cup, England will nonetheless prosper against sides lacking the pace or guile to punish them on the break, and, fortunately for England but perhaps not for the standard of football, there are a fair number of those in the competition.
the originality of my prediction for group B
Except for Justin, and he seems to have England beating Germany in the second round.
Oh, and
2) Trinidad and Tobago, Togo, Saudi Arabia
1)
Group Winners: A: Germany, B: England, C: Argentina, D: Portugal, E: Czech Republic, F: Brazil, G: France, H: Ukraine
Quarter Finalists: Germany, Argentina, Czech Republic, Spain, England, Serbia, Brazil, Ukraine
Semi Finalists: Argentina, Czech Republic, England, Brazil
Winner: Czech Republic
2) Nul points
Trindad & Tobago, Angola, Saudi Arabia
3) Marksmen
Crespo, Koller, Ronaldinho
4) Bottlers
Lampard, Viduka
5) Walkers
Marquez, Marin
6) Insta(nt)pundit
Rooney’s patent lack of fitness and form in the semi-final against Brazil is exacerbated by Eriksson’s reckless gamble on Walcott as his strike partner, leaving England’s midfield to run themselves, heroically, into the pitch of Munich’s Allianz Arena.
Phil,
Except for Justin, and he seems to have England beating Germany in the second round.
Nah, I have England to beat Poland in the second round. England and Germany both being runners up in their groups (I predict England throwing the Sweden game to avoid the hosts) they can’t play each other in the second round.
I think. You’ve got me doubting myself now. My brain hurts.
1.
– Germany, England, Ivory Coast, Portugal, Brazil, Italy, France, Ukraine
– Germany, Ivory Coast, England, Argentina, Italy, France, Brazil, Ukraine
– Germany, France, Argentina, Brazil
– France
2.Trinidad + Tobago, Saudi Arabia
3.Henry, Podolski, Ronaldo
4. Beckham, Drogba
5. Dennis Lawrence, Boumsong
6. Lose on penalties to argentina
1.- Poland, Sweden, Holland, Portugal, Italy, Brazil, France, Spain
– England, Holland, Italy, France, Germany, Argentina, Brazil, Spain
-England, Italy, Argentina, Brazil
-Brazil
2. Trinidad, Serbia, Ghana, Togo
3. Adriano, Henry, Toni
4. Lampard, Robben
5. Robben, J. Cole
6. Did Sven’s decision to drop Peter Crouch in the semis for an unfit Rooney seal England’s fate? We’ll never know for sure.
1.Germany,England,Argentina,Portugal,Italy,Brasil,France,Spain.
Germany,England,Argentina,Portugal,Croatia,Brasil,France,Spain.
England,Argentina,Brasil,Croatia.
Brasil
2.Trinidad and Tobago,Angola,Togo.
3.Ronaldinho,T.Henry,P.Crouch.
4.Beckham,Lampard.
5.Nesta,Sol Campbell.
6.England’s chances are very good which is fine; regretfully it’s the next forty bloody years of hearing about it (assuming I live that long)that will piss me off.
1(a) Poland, Sweden, Argentina, Portugal, Ghana, Croatia, Korea, Ukraine
(b) Poland, Sweden, Iran, Portugal, Ghana, Croatia, Tunisia, Ukraine
(c) Iran, Tunisia, Ukraine, Sweden
(d) Tunisia
2. Netherlands, France
3. Marksmen: Ziad Jaziri, Mehdi Nafti, Olof Mellberg
4. Bottlers: Ivan Bosnjak, Hernan Crespo
5. Walkers: Lucio, Fredrik Ljungberg
6. “We was robbed.”
Pingback: Chicken Yoghurt » Sharpener World Cup Compo
Oi, ref – does number 2 mean we start with 3 points then dock one for each point one of our sides gets, or give ourselves either minus one per point or +3 if we get them all right? Makes a difference (Trinidad and Tobago innit… wait a moment, two countries with one team, can this possibly be fair?).
give ourselves either minus one per point or +3 per team we get right
That was the intention, and I think the general understanding, so we’ll go with that. Otherwise it would have been wise to nominate every team you thought would get less than 3 points, if my logic isn’t awry.
Pingback: The Sharpener » Blog Archive » World Cup competition update
Pingback: The Sharpener » Blog Archive » World Cup competition result