I know you’ve all been waiting on tenterhooks with baited breath for this, my first post on The Sharpener – how could you not, eh? I hope it meets or even surpasses your expectations, and you tell your friends to read it. It is, as with most things now, a reflection on the implications of Thursday’s General Election. (Be warned, it’s a very long reflection.)

As you might guess from my oh-so-subtle nom de blog, I’m a conservative. For that reason, this piece is a bit of navel-gazing because we Tories have now a brief opportunity to do that, and an urgent need to do so. In what follows, I’ll make some observations on how it all went for my lot, and then where we go next, before closing with my own reckless suggestions on what that should mean. Read More

While the Liberal democrats overall gained seats (up from 51 to 62 now), they also lost 5 seats to the Tories. Was this because of “tactical unwind”?
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When the Tories announced that they were going to go for hi-tech Machiavellian psephology, some witches brew of rightwing populism and computerised number crunching, an ominous shiver went around the anorakorati, convinced as they tend to be by the example of the Republicans in the US that this is an unstoppable formula.

I wasn’t so sure. It sounded like a classic example of people using technology to solve their problems for them, rather than applying technology to the solutions they’ve worked out. Claiming to be able to pull a victory out of the Voter Vault is exactly the same as claiming to be able to pull a victory out of your arse. Read More

Could it have been any less interesting? I began to get the feeling (sometime around 3am) that someone was actively editing all the drama out of the election. A vague paranoia set in that perhaps Rupert Murdoch had bought the rights to all the exciting constituencies. But no, it was just as underwhelming over on Sky News, and they didn’t have Paxman. Read More

How can you have an election where nobody wins?

Obviously the Tories are the worst losers. If I were a Conservative voter, I’d be really worried about the state of the party. For as long as I can remember, it’s been a good rule of thumb that when Labour were in trouble, the Tories would be the first to benefit, and vice versa. Ironically, during the only period when this wasn’t true – the Alliance surge of the early 1980s – the electoral system made it come true anyway, converting Labour losses to the Alliance into Tory gains. This time round, it looks rather different. Read More

Now that everyone’s sleeping the sleep of the satisfied political anorak I might as well pitch in with a few words about the significance of it all, at least when viewed through the wrong end of an empty bottle of…but that joke’s getting old.

So. Were you still up for Oona? Read More

I’ve been up for nearly 26 hours now, and have liveblogged the election throughout the night, from 10pm to 8am. Below the fold is my drink and insomnia-addled post-match analysis, plus the whole sorry caboodle, running in reverse-chronological order, as all good blogs should. Some insights, some swearing, and the occasional appearance from my mate Steve.
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The polls are open, the people are voting, and, barring some form of catastrophic disaster removing the top half of the United Kingdom, it’s all really over. Tony is about to romp home to a 3rd successive, historic victory. The opinion polls are probably wrong (they historically tend to overstate Labour slightly), but there is a disturbing consensus around the result:

L: 36-38
C: 32-33
LD: 21-24

and even the betting exchanges are showing Labour with around 370 seats, the Tories on about 190, and the Libs on about 65, which would give an overall majority around 90 for our glorious leader.

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Good afternoon, campers. It’s Jamie off Blood & Treasure here, posting at the kind invitation of the management who would additionally like to inform you that there’s dirt for dinner and you’re not invited. Anyway, here’s a little adress dedicated to all you pseuds out there.

Reasons for Shiraz quaffers to vote against Labour: one and two.

Okay, Shiraz quaffers, so you gave in to the bullying and put your cross by the natural party of permanent government. You had no choice, you were told: they owned your vote. The fact that you had it to exercise was simply a privilege and exercising it the wrong way would simply be an act of ingratitude. So you went along. Read More

I’m pissed off at how few people who vote today will actually see their vote achieve anything. I’m pissed off at how alienated the population has become with the political process. I’m pissed off at the fact that so many people rightly believe that their vote won’t change anything.
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