More on Blair’s legacy
Okay, as promised, here’s the second part to this trilogy. To remind you, in part one we asked you to come up with:
…anything you think could reasonably be called an achievement of the Blair government. Try to leave partisan feelings to one side.
This one is a little different. Same theme, Blair’s legacy; but this time we need something that you can just about at a push imagine the Dear Leader, in his more delusional moments, coming out with sometime after his own Ides of March. Maybe during a cosy brunch interview with Michael White. Be ludicrous and partisan, from left, right or whatever direction you like. Feel free to pitch in with some satire (just make it funnier than Dead Ringers). To give you an idea, here are some I prepared earlier:
MW: “So, Tony (may I call you Tony?), what has been your proudest achievement of your Historic Three Terms as Labour (sic) PM?
ACLB: “Well, Michael, my government….
* helped bring democracy to the Middle East
* ensured individual liberty remained at the heart of the New Labour project
* cleaned up the British honours system
* revitalized collective cabinet government
* made the UK the most dynamic manufacturing economy in the world
* ended 18 years of rule by knee-jerk legislation
* put Britain at the heart of Europe
* showed than an ethical foreign policy was possible
* always played to the better instincts of Middle England
…. and so on. Take it away: Chris and I need loads. Part three soon….
…listened to the voters more than any government in history through initiatives like “Let’s Talk” and “The Big Conversation.”
…reformed the House of Lords.
…put human rights at the heart of British government.
he’d probably say 3 election wins for labour was in itself an achievement as well.
Enabled much needed legislative & regulatory reform to be applied to the magna carta, the human rights act, …
Implemented an easy-to-access searchable database containing the personal & biometric details of every UK resident.
Ensured that my legacy of a country run on genuinely social democratic lines would never be again overturned by the carping of morally bankrupt tabloid journalists, jumped opportunistic little Englanders, and apologists for pig-at-the-trough style greed.
Ensured that essential public services stay where they belong, in the hands of the public, rather than owned by private companies leasing them to us so we’ll pay several times the cost of building a hospital and we still won’t own the damn thing.
Held true to my promised three priorities: education, education, education. For those who can pay the fees.
Set achievable targets for reductions in greenhouse gas emissions. And, as you know, setting targets sends out a clear message that we are taking an issue seriously. Which means we don’t have to do any of that tricky ‘actually doing something about it’ malarkey.
Was tough on the causes of crimeDiscarded unnecessary so called “protections” and vastly increased the power of the state to dispense summary justice in order to protect the law abiding majority from the hoodied underclass.With my friend George I helped create the conditions for Armegeddon in the Middle East. Tough decisions had to be made. The world is overdue a Second Coming and … I feel the time is right… to announce … my arrival.
Look. My friends haven’t all abandoned me, I suppose you read that in the newspapers. Actually they’ve all been taken up in the Rapture.
And to my critics who wished to see me tried for war crimes I say this… I was acquitted. Ok it was on a technicality, I was deemed mentally unfit, but that’s human rights law for you.
Do you have to go already. I really enjoy your visits. You’re the only one who understands, the only one who listens. Please don’t leave me here. They’re trying to poison me you know.
No. NO!!
Get Off Me. LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
MICHAEL………
Made Michael Howard look like a chain-me-to-the-railings hippy civil rights protestor
Of course, if it wasn’t for TB and New Labour England would never have won the Rugby world cup, Kelly Homes wouldn’t have got two gold medals and England wouldn’t have beaten Australia at cricket.
Also any other sporting succes that is in any way connected to Britain or England, past or present (future if we win the World Cup) , is completely down to our wonderful PM.
The real reason they all visted Downing Street was to thank the PM, not to be congratulated by him.
WARNING: An excess of Sarcasm may be damaging for your health.
You forgot: “Helped the single parents by messing around with tax credits.”
Introduced the SORN – that’s Statutory Off Road Notification to non-vehicle owners. An apparently trivial matter, as far as I can tell this administrative procedure has no legal effect at all and amounts to getting permission to stop using your car.
I’m pretty sure it’s the first example in this country of the public being required to periodically inform the State that they are NOT doing something and therefore marks a watershed in the balance between citizen and State.
Its principle purpose appears to be in conditioning people to conform to any administrative command on pain of financial penalty in readiness for the monster – ID cards. And it pisses me off because it works.
So when in years to come you are fined for failing to inform the NIR that you haven’t moved/changed your name/D.O.B etc. since they last “asked” you can look back to 1998 and see that it all started with the SORN. And when you reminisce about a time when government information films were intended to be educational and not just a catalogue of threats to “comply or else because we’re on to you” you can know that it started with the SORN.
I’m still a bit grumpy because I’ve just had to renew a SORN for a car that’s been off the road for 4 years and now the DVLA are issuing automatic penalties it seems they no longer bother to issue automatic reminders.
Applied sound management structures to the formerly messy business of growing up by introducing performance indicators for childhood + the Canonbury Parenting Curriculum for parents.
…Established the valuable principle that an individual’s human rights (e.g. not to be detained without trial, not to be deported to countries that practise torture whatever assurances they might give, to express himself freely even if what he says gives offence to others, to demonstrate publicly even in places where the demonstration embarrasses ministers and politicans, to enjoy respect for his privacy and not to have copious amounts of information about him made available on a huge database to bureaucrats, coppers, tax collectors and other snoopers) are more important for the kind of society we live in than the infinitesimal amount of additional security that the public at large would enjoy if these rights were denied to a few individuals;
…accepted that some degree of risk has to be tolerated in a civilised society even if the prime minister and other ministers, the police, officials or others are going to be blamed when something goes wrong, as it inevitably will sooner or later.
Brian
http://www.barder.com/ephems/
Read this one either way, depending on how partisan you are:
* saved the Labour party from its own worst excesses.
Felt accountable only to God and History. Which was nice.
Forced Margaret Thatcher to speak out in defence of civil liberties.
Became more unpopular in Britain than Bush is in America.
Succeeded where Hitler failed.
Sorry, I just can’t stop myself.
MW: One word that few people would associate you or your Government with is nationalisation. Critics on the left would claim that in many areas you have gone the other way; diluting public ownership through measures like PFI, Academies and independent treatment centres, but that’s not the whole story is it?
TB: Thanks for bringing that up Mike. I think in the modern 21st century global world it’s important that the State controls its most valuable assets and I’m not talking about energy security here. No, I’m talking about the population. So I’d like to talk about two of my most radical and far reaching initiatives. Most obviously we have nationalised identity and I think you’ll admit we’ve been pretty successful.
First we told people how valuable their identity was and how easily it could be taken from them, then we made them pay us to take control of it so we could sell it on to anyone with ready cash. It really is a perfect scam with money coming in from both ends. And it also gives us an incredibly powerful lever to enforce compliance. Piss off one of my friends and you might find yourself experiencing a period of “social exclusion†while we suspend your identity.
But our really big move was to nationalise children. Nothing like this had been attempted in a democracy before. We now have yet another national database so that the State can track all children and know what services they are using. We created an audit and inspection system of targets and performance indicators for children’s development and all public services are required to work together to ensure that children meet the State’s targets. Now the Government determines what is in the best interest of the child and the parents’ views take second place. For instance, Children’s Services are judged on how many children are in day care and parents are “encouraged” to help agencies score well on the performance indicator by not staying at home to look after their young children when they should be using their time more productively in paid employment. It’s all about national efficiency Michael.
looking for a good Blair legacy?
What about gay rights: Age of consent, scrapping clause 28, civil partnerships …
New Labour government has done a lot for gay people. It has changed the public consenus for the better against a prejudice that is old and strong.
Homosexuality was illegal in Britain until 1967.